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Tiny TomesĀ® Publishing

Constance B. Wilder

Blog

Forever Friends

Posted on September 17, 2013 at 10:16 PM
I'm tired tonight. But not as tired as my dear friends who lost a grandson last week. I know a little something about grief--BUT this pain experienced by my friends is the worst horror. The order of life tragically turned upside down.

I didn't know if I would have the courage to travel the miles to give a comforting hug.I didn't know if I were brave enough to stand in a room with my friends (the grandparents) the parents, the siblings, the aunts and uncles, the cousins, the young friends, and the old friends and be strong enough to comfort, rather than yearning to be comforted about such a senseless loss.

But as the lyrics of the song echoed in my head "that's what friends are for--the good times the bad times." These friends were close couple friends--another reason why I was initially weak about being able to attend the memorial service.I would be going alone--and that thought made my decision doubly difficult.

Fortunately, my heart and head got it together--you "show up" for your friends who need you. You do travel the miles just to say for a minute--"I love you, and I'm here." Because that is the worst thing about losing a loved one--not much that you relied on makes sense anymore. But the love of friends and family makes the difference. Hope is rekindled.

These friends were there for me. The room at the reception was filled with friends who carried me over the worst time of losing the love of my life. "That's what friends are for."

I painted this hydrangea for my friends--it's on the cover of the sympathy card I am sending them. I hope they will laugh a bit when they see it--because we used to laugh at my need to collect hydrangeas--even if they weren't mine. Confession--Larry and I lived next door to the parish house in Wellfleet. The house was used for offices for the church across the street. In the late Fall I would go out after dark and snip off  the hydrangea blossoms, surreptitiously and quickly put them in a grocery bag to take home--believing that I was doing a good thing--pruning the flowers before they turned brown and ugly. My friends--for whom I drew this sympathy card--would ask me "Con, were those flowers 'taken'  from the church?"

I'm tired tonight--but they are bereft. Their friends cannot make their pain go away--but I and we can let them know that we are here with outstretched hands, open hearts, constant prayers and the hope that they know that treasured memories are the strength that heals.

Categories: grief

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45 Comments

Reply Sam
11:18 AM on September 18, 2013 
This is beautiful and so thoughtful and true. We DO do things for our friends. We do go the extra mile. That IS what friends are for. Beautiful thoughts, Con. I feel so sorry for your friends. The loss of a child is the WORST.
Reply Patty
2:07 PM on September 18, 2013 
Such perfect thought, Connie. It was so important that we were all together.
Reply Claire Turner
3:18 PM on September 18, 2013 
Beautiful & heartfelt blog. You write with such feeling & have an amazing way with words. I always look forward to Mondays knowing this is Connie's blog day. I''m sure I'm not alone when I say,
"YOU MAKE MY HEART SMILE". Love & Hugs, Bunk
Reply Linda Hanna
12:35 PM on September 19, 2013 
No one could say this any better!
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